Living Life with a Resting Bitch Face

For those of you who don't know what a RBF is, here is the definition:

a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to

And this is my life. I don't know when I first noticed it ( this sounds like I have some kind of medical condition from which you can die) but it probably was in high school when people constantly told me to smile more. I didn't quite understand 1. why people were telling me that and 2. why it was okay for anybody to comment on my face. This went on and on an on for YEARS. I noticed that people would always be pleasantly suprised when they were forced to talk to me  (no one  would ever volunteer for that because I constantly looked like being in the mood to murder someone). They told me they dindn't think I was that nice and even funny and that they observed me for many years in school and basically thought I was an arrogant bitch. "You should smile more", they told me.

The problem was, when I thought that I had a cute little smirk on my face I looked like I had just been told my dog died and when I smiled to full extend and thought I looked ridiuculous with that huge smile on my face in reality it was a teeny tiny grin. I really tried hard to change this whole murder facial expression thing but everything I tried failed and I would find my face hurting from all that 'smiling' I was attempting to do. Making friends would always be a depressing quest. I don't even know how I got the friends I have....maybe they were forced to work with me in group projects. Now, I am not a shy person but starting a conversation with someone I don't know isn't on my list of things I love to do either. But waiting for people to come up to me? I would still be sitting here, waiting, sipping on my tea. It just isn't happening for me. And don't even get me started on interactions with the opposite sex. I can't count the times I was ignored by men to later find out they thought I was not interested, arrogant and full of myself when in reality I started thinking I must be ugly as hell.

In my late high school years I found out that the RBF actually can be measured based on your facial feautures and that even some celebrities were affected by this. Victorica Beckham or Kristen Stewart for example. Two ladies I always couldn't help but dislike because they always looked so bitchy. I was one of them. This was horrible. When it came to graduation and I was voted most likely to be the person to kiss their own reflection for our graduation book I was fed up with it. People who never even talked to me judged me solely on my facial expression, which I couldn't even change. I heard the worst gossip about me how I must have thought I was the most perfect human being on earth always looking down on people, when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. Most of the time I look at people and think they have really nice hair or something of the sort and all they can think when seeing me is:" what an arrogant bitch.! Who does she think she is, running around judging people?!" Please, have mercy on me!

Starting university I thought that I would leave my RBF past behind me but oh no, my face had other plans. I really tried to look friendly, open and interested on the first days of uni but I failed so epically, there are no words. Yes, I managed to find friends but guess what they told me in our first interaction: "Actually I was a little bit intimidated by you, you should smile more often."

Here is the thing: Even if I wanted to force a smile on my face 24/7 just so people wouldn't be so deterred by me there still is one problem: I don't like the way I look when I smile. I just don't. I love laughing at something funny with my friends, sounding like a psychopath seal but smiling in general, no. And even if people will tell me to smile more for the rest of my life I will probably not change it. I won't start smiling in pictures when everybody is shouting "CHEEEEESE". Just no. I feel akward and I simply don't want to. I don't tell people to not stand a certain way in photos either. They are standing this way because they know it makes them look good and they feel comfortable. I feel comfortable not smiling. I will have to learn to live with people being intimidated by me or assuming I must be thinking I'm the shit when I'm defenietly not (well, most of the time) but it would be nice if people became more aware of the complexity of facial expressions. People who smile all the time can be depressed, people calmly staring into distance could have a panic attack and people looking like they want to murder you could be jolly as can be inside (not all of them, though. If you seriously think someone wants to murder you you better run).
Basically what I'm trying to say with this is: Don't judge a book by it's cover.


I dedicate this post to all the ladies out there suffering from RBF. I feel ya.

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Autumn Beauty Edit

It is no secret that fall and winter are my absolute favourite seasons, and yes I know what kind of basic b*tch that makes me but I don' even care. I love everything about it! The holidays, the cold, the food, the sweets, the fashion and of course the make up. Don't even get me started. I could write books about how much I love autumn/winter make up. I love a dark lip and bronzy lids. It's just my thing and I always feel more like becoming myself when the leaves start to fall and I can put on that cranberry shadow. Speaking of...I found that this season cranberry is THE colour especially for on the eyes. So I was happy to find a cranberry shadow from KIKO in my collection and I love it so much. It has a slight shimmer to it and is a gorgeous transition colour. The MAC shadow in the colour Antiqued is this perefct rust colour for in the crease and just looking at it makes me feel all the pumpkins, scarfs and candles. But my all time favourite shadow, for all year around actually, is NARS Isolde . Words can't describe my love for this product. First of all the quality of this is impeccable. I don't own any other eyeshadow that stays on as long as this one.They are creamy and sooo pigmented! And the shades....perfect gold, perfect copper. Everytime someone aks me what I have on my lids it's most likely it's Isolde. I would only buy NARS shadows if it wasn't for one minor detail: NARS isn't available in Germany (please fix this, whoever is responsible for this!). But one brand that now is available in Germany is Sleek. I went out the first day the stores had it in stock and found the Au Naturel palette . For the price I have to say it's really good quality. The shimmery shadows are slightly more creamy and pigmented than the matte ones though. But I completely fell for the cranberry shade in the bottom left corner, oh my. For lips there are two staples in my collection that I have been constantly wearing since the temperatures started dropping. The first one is an oldie but goodie.MAC's Spirit . I would describe it as a semi matte muted brown with slight pinky undertones. It matches basically any make up look. The last one is a new addition to my collection the NYX liquid suede in the colour Cherry Skies . And the name says it all. A very pretty matte dark cherry. Autumn in a flask (even though cherries are more like a summer fruit(?) berry(?)). I hope you all have an awesome autumn so far, while looking on fleek.

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5 Things To Do When Feeling Down

I think everyone can relate to the feeling when you had a bad week, nothing went your way and you basically want to hide under your duvet and plan your career as a professional Netflix watcher #girlboss. I for sure had many occasions when I felt that way and most of the time I am so overwhelmed with my bad mood that I try nothing to change it and just sit there on my bed, staring out the window, pretending I'm the star of a dramatic music video. But of course that doesn't improve my mood at all so I came up with some ideas what to do when you're feeling the blues. I'm not gonna lie here, I have a really hard time following my own rules but I really try hard not to be an unproductive potatoe all day so bare with me...

1. Get out of the house

This is the thing I almost always do because I have to. I have a dog. I have to leave the house to take him on his walks, even if I don't feel like it. Personally I love nature and especially the forest because I connect these sensations of brisk air, earth scent and rustling leaves with my childhood. Also experiencing nature is a great way to gain perspective and refocus. The city hustle let's me always forget how much more there is out there than my comparably little problems. You can of course go anywhere else but leaving your everyday surroundings I think is crucial to improve your mood.

2. Write a To-Do-List

Oftentimes my mood is based on my stress level. If I have a lot on my plate I tend to get moody, angry and tired. But most of the time I stress myself out too much because I think about the million things I have to do when in reality they are not that much and not that overwhelming. So I like to write a list of all the things I want/have to do on the next day/ next week. Once written down the list from my head doesn't seem so intimidating anymore and I manage to relax which then improves my mood.

3. Call up a friend

Even though I am the most antisocial person ever when I'm feeling down I noticed that everytime I force myself to meet up with someone or just call them I instantly feel better. Even if your friends aren't that great at cheering you up they will 100% manage to distract you and get you out of that thought spiral that is getting you down. Also an objective perspective of a friend on your problems can be refreshing and uplifting. They will see things you can't because you are to close to the matter and even if it's just about you having a bad skin day they will tell you it's not that bad (regardless if thats true or not) Tell me I'm pretty!!

4. Treat Yo Self

I'm not trying to promote unhealthy shopping behaviour here but it isn't called retail therapy for no reason. Buying something that I had had my eyes on for a loooong time makes me feel better EVERYTIME. It may not solve any of my problems but Mama needs to shop. So I like to hit up ASOS or any other online location that sells stuff. It doesn't even have to be expensive. Even thinking about a new necklace for 10 bucks that will make it's way to me in 3 to 5 working days cheers me up. It's the anticipation. But when your mood is based around the fact that you're broke because you're constantly treating yo self (believe me I've been there) then there are more cost effective ways to do so. Prepare a nice meal instead of opting for that pizza out of the freezer, take a nice long bath with that bath bomb you've been saving or do what ever your guilty pleasure in life is. And do not feel guilty about it, that's the key. You so deserve this! (I whispered to myself while swiping my credit card through the scanner trying to convince myself that my bank balance can't possibly look that bad)

5. Give yourself a break

This I'm very bad at. My mood often depends on how I feel about myself, as well. This can be appearance related or can be me being hard on myself for being or acting certain ways. I get so caught up in that depressing spiral of comparing myself to others and basically bullying myself that I find it hard to see any postive aspects of me and my life. I think a lot of people feel that way, maybe it's just me but regardless: Give yourself a break! We are only human. We are trying our best and if we're not we can try again tomorrow. This is so chliché but you really are your own worst enemy so try not to be too hard on yourself and remember all the good things you've done and accomplished. Maybe even write a list if that helps to visualize it better.

So I hope I could inspire some of you to fight the blues and if not: There will be better days!

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Garnier Hydra Bomb Sheet Mask Review

With autumn now finally knocking on our doors, our skin also is in desperate need for hydration. The colder and crisper autumn air dehydrates our skin and forces us to change our skin regime for the next six months. Even though I never had too much problems with dry patches or anything of the sort because of my oily skin even I noticed a difference in the plumpness of my skin when the tempatures started dropping. So when I found the Garnier Hydra Bomb Sheet Masks in the drugstore aisles I thought that they could be the solution to that as it promises to supply you with the moisture worth of a whole week of skin care just in fifteen minutes. They come in three different versions, which I tried all. The blue one is for refreshing, the green one for mattifying and clearing and the pink one for calming the skin. They only cost 2 Euros each which is an absolute bargain. Even though I used them rather sporadically and can not vouch for the long term effects I have to say: I absolutely love them.

The application is super easy. There even are holes for your ears so you can hook the mask behind them. They smell nice and the effects are 100% convincing. After 15 minutes I removed the mask and rubbed the residue into my skin, as it tells you to do on the packaging. I was left with noticably plumper and more hydrated skin. After the residue was completely soaked in my skin felt soft and super refreshed. I looked more awake and much more healthier. I was, and still am, thrilled. I will definitely repurchase and would highly recommend them to anyone with dry skin or anyone struggling with hydrating their skin in the autumn and winter months.

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