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Embracing my Natural Hair

It has become a running gag in make over stories à la Princess Diaries that a girl has to have straight hair to be pretty. Curly hair is untamed, scruffy, unprofessional. A misconception that I encouraged for the entirety of my life until last year when I decided to embrace my natural curly hair and not straighten it anymore. I think it is important to make curly hair a more mainstream thing and encourage woman to be themselves and not to alter themselves to a stereotype, embossed by Hollywood and the media. So here I go with my personal struggle with my natural hair and my sudden realization that it is rather a blessing than a curse.

As a child I had super light and super straight blonde hair. My parents figured that I was coming after my father since he had the same type of hair. My mother on the other hand always had long, curly hair that she never failed to mention was unmanagable. When I reminisce about my childhood I always rememember how pretty I thought my mother looked with her dark locks. She looked like Fran Drescher from The Nanny. When I was around the age of twelve my hair decided to change completely. It suddenly was a lot thicker, much drier and settled on something between wavy and curly, and I hated it. Combined with the usual akwardness of that pre-puberty state I really hated the way I looked. Not only had my hair become this unmanagable barnet, it also had changed colour. Gone were the days of bright blonde hair. I was still blonde but way more ashier. On photos they pictured grey-greenish and to colour it by myself, like many of my friends did at the time, I simply did not have the guts , since I did not want it to become yellow either. Over the next years however, my hair became curlier and curlier by the minute and at one point I mostly wore it in a bun with a headband (it was a good look, I swear). At the age of fourteen I discovered the flattening iron. Of course I knew of it before but the effort that came with keeping the appearance of straight hair up seemed a little bit extensive to me. But in my despair over all my friends having 'normal' hair and me being the only one without it I decided to try it and since then I was hooked. I then straightened my hair every time after washing it for six years. I also discovered the joys of professional hair colouring when I earned my own money and I was usally pretty happy with my hair. Of course I had bad hair days too but over all it was my straight hair dream come true. I did not have the most high quality flattening iron and I also did not know about heat protection until two years after I started the whole thing. So no wonder my hair soon became even more dry, dull and majorly damaged. But that was the price I was happily willing to pay for smooth, straigth hair. At this point most of my friends didn't even know I had curly hair. It was a dark, dark secret that only a chosen few knew about. I remember one day when my flattening iron broke and I refused to go to school until I had a new one. I was insane.

I played this charade until last year. It never came to my mind that I would ever stop straightening my hair, it simply was a part of me. I had had straight hair for six years and it was the only way I knew myself. But that came to an end when I had to stop straightening my hair because of severe hair loss caused by a vitamin deficiency. It was a real drama until one glorious doctor finally found the cause of the hair loss, after my hair had been falling out for over six months. So I stopped straightening it and was really sad about it. But I soon was happy that I had hair, full stop. And I noticed a major difference in the quality of my hair, once it grew back. The damage I had done to my hair over the years had become more than visible. Not straightening it for almost a year now (except for rare occasions) really gave me new, improved hair. It is shiny and strong again. I really struggled though to find curly head role models. Except from Carrie Bradshaw and Fran Fine no one came to mind. And those are TV series from the 90's. Something that also occured to me was that both those characters were known for their wild spirits. Carrie Bradshaw even once came to the realization that some women are not meant to be tamed when she compared herself to straight haired Natasha. Same with the Nanny. The girl from Queens that never quite fit into the Upper East Side life of the Sheffield Family. But in both cases the men of the stories (not that the approval of men plays any role in this) finally realize that these women have something, something different. They got style, they got flair, just as the Nanny theme song puts it. So curly haired women aren't always portrayed as scruffy messes after all. But it is fact that there are not enough of them. So when I thought about all that I came to the conclusion that I dindn't wanted to be Nastasha or even worse Miss Babcock. I always wanted to be that flashy woman, that turnt heads, was funny, had more to herself than just her looks but still had that je ne sais quoi, that wasn't boring and  didn't looked like everyone else. A woman that literally couldn't be tamed.

So I coulnd't help but wonder (having a little Carrie Bradshaw moment here) why I thought for most of my life that curls were ugly and put so much effort into concealing them. Most importantly I wondered why a lot of women and girls do the same. I did a little bit of research and found out that only 15 % of women with caucasian roots have curly hair. It is rare. It is unique. And still most of those 15% try to hide their natural hair. But why is that? Simply because it is different and society doesn't like different. If we don't fit into what society thinks is the standard or the norm of what is acceptable or pretty we try to change it. Be it beeing skinny, beeing straight or having straight hair. But what I figured after all this drama about my hair is that I have to be grateful for what I got and have to embrace and love it. I also learned that what you got usally is what suits you the best. And by now I also love to be different and have something unique to my appearance, not even considering the compliments I get for my curls, which I never got in six years of straight hair. Once in a while I want to see myself with straigth hair again but when I do I always happily go back to beeing a curly head. It makes me feel more like myself.

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Drugstore Top Beauty Buys

 Let's be honest: there is nothing better than to splurge on a high end beauty product and feel like some kind of rich person because you can't afford the designer clothing items just yet. To be honest most high end beauty products also are high quality and not comparible with their cheaper drugstore versions especially in Germany where drugstores and their selection of brands is really ridiculous, compared to UK and US counter parts. But from time to time there are products that find their way into the drugstore and are so mindblowingly good that you literally "just can't". And since this is a rather rare situation I would like to share my top drugstore beauty buys.

Starting off with foundation. Now, foundation is the only beauty product I am not willing to buy an expensive version of. Just because I use foundation on a daily basis and it doesn't last you a very long time before you have to go out and buy a new one. I've always been a fan of L'Oreal foundations. For a very long time I used the l'eau de teint, which was amazing, but as so often when I really love a product it was discontinued. So I searched Pinterest for Nars Sheer Glow dupes, as that's the only foundation Bloggers and Youtubers ever talk about and was directed to the Maybelline Fit Me foundation. So I bought it and it was all I ever hoped for in a foundation. Dewy, but not shiny finish, perfect match for my very pale skin tone and not cakey at all. When I have a bit of a tan, which hardly ever is the case because I just can't be bothered to fake tan every week, I use a shade darker and it fits perfectly too.

 The next product I just discovered recently and my life has never been the same since. I have super oily skin and keeping my nose and T-zone matte throughout the day is a task I never managed to complete. I've used every powder there is. After one hour out and about my make-up magically dissapeared from my nose and forehead and only left that greasy shine behind. The NYX HD Finishing Powder really is insanely good. It keeps my problem areas matte ALL DAY without my touching it up and gives the skin a nice glow instead of a cakey, powdery look.

 Another NYX product that I love is the Contouring Palette. It has eight shades, which to be fair, I only use four of because I really don't know what to do with matte highlighters. I am more of a full on sparkle kind of gal. But the greyish countouring shades and the banana powder are extremely good. As one can see from the photo it is very well used.

 I don't know about you but I really struggle to find good drugstore blushes. Most of them have huge chunks of glitter in them and you just look insane with them on your cheeks. So when I buy drugstore blushes I opt for matte ones. But the Maxfactor Cream Blush is a rare exception in the desert of drugstore blushes. It is super pigmented and because it is creamy it gives you a nice sheen.

 For the next item I have to say it is not as good as the Urban Decay Primer Potion which really keeps your eyeshadow in place for the eternity of time but it is really expensive so for those on a lower budget this is a good alternative. The Catrice Eye Primer.

 Another product that dosn't last me a long time are concealers. Probably because I conceal the hell out of my face. The ASTOR 24h Perfect Stay Concealer gives really good coverage and in the lightest shade, Ivory, highlights your under eye area really well and gives you that Kim K look.

 Eyebrows are difficult. I can't say that I have found my go to product yet but the one I reach the most for is the NYX Micro Brow Pencil. It has a really fine tip and is perefect to naturally fill in your eyebrows as it can fake that fine hairs.

 I'm not really impressed with drugstore eyeshadows to be honest but the Catrice Liquid Metal eyeshadows (which I couldn't find online) are surprisingly good. Highly pigmented and not infused with huge glitter chunks.

 For Mascaras I gave into the hype of the Maybelline Lash Sensational Mascara. It really is the best drugstore mascara. The only thing I can not lie about is that drugstore formulas are much harder to get off at the end of the day but other than that they can keep up with their higher end counter parts.

Finally for lip products. In that category there are a lot more options. First of the P2 Perfect Color Lipliner in the colour 128 prima ballerina. This my perfect nude. I oftentimes even wear it on it's own but it is also the perfect liner for every other colour just to contour your lip shape.

For lipglosses. The Manhattan Lip Laquers in the colours Toffee and Roaring Red. Once again Toffee is the perfect nude and it's my most worn day to day lip product. In the autumn and winter months Roaring Red is the perfect red to get you in the mood for christmas. Another love of mine are the Tanya Burr Lipglosses. Unfortunetly they are not available in German drugstores so you have to buy them online but they are absolutely worth it. I would really like to try her eyeshadow palettes and fake lashes too because I think they will be really good.

And the last one is a liquid lipstick by NYX. The Soft Matte Lip Cream. I only just have it in the dark red/plum tone Copenhagen but I definitely will go back and buy other colours because the texture and the finish are just gorgeuos.

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